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In any case, Nananan does these girls a justice in her writing for Blue. And Endo gave her all these things plenty but she was also always unobtainable to Kirishima.

The latter was kicked out of her previous school for having an abortion. Shounen ai, on the other hand, at least shows believable development and characterization in the context of romance.

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There is no definitive way of describing or labeling Endo's feelings for Kirishima. Kirishima had to find out about it through another classmate and this was a betrayal to her because she wanted Endo to be straightforward with her, to tell her all her secrets as much as return her desires.

Endo breaks Kirishima's heart by denying her friendship which was what I think these two girls struggled to maintain with each other. BLUE is a story about two high school girls and their friendship.

In fact, Endo is more than okay encouraging Kirishima's girlish fantasies of moving in together in Tokyo after graduation. Its meaninglessness about character motivations and actions are so attuned with what happens in real-life scenarios and the people that perpetuate them that I can't help but contemplate about my own experiences in high school about a girl I had such an intense feeling of anguish and desire for.

Maybe we're not supposed to know completely because in real life, a lot of people in our lives do remain hidden from us, putting on masks and costumes and we do encourage this masquerade because it feels safe.

Ultimately, Endo breaks Kirishima's heart but not because she has directly rejected a real committed relationship with her. Kirishima's desire to be intimate with Endo is so confusing especially when she has no emotional maturity to help her understand it blue kiriko nananan online dating so she makes rash decisions all in hopes to earn Endo's attention and affection.

Blue has made me realize strong emotions often need to be felt more than spoken aloud and it's a great testament to her skill as a writer of immense depth and experience that Nananan was able to capture this within such a simple, minimalistic yet agonizingly accurate story about teenage girls and their struggles with identity and sexual attraction; shame and jealousy; vestebene magazzino online dating growing up too soon and having to deal with that as it comes.

In the end, it occurred to Endo and Kirishima that they're both at fault for a idealizing whatever connection they have for one another, and this was why Kirishima's resentment over Endo's reticence, and Endo's lackadaisical neglect of Kirishima's attachment to her almost threatened to end their friendship for good.

So I want to balance my BL reads with GL so I ventured on and researched the most popular yuri as well as the most recent, preferably with ones that portray lesbian relationships in a positive light, if not always accurately.

We know Kirishima might possibly be coming to terms of her homosexuality and is terrified, so she is projecting all her self-hate and dreams on Endo because she was the only person who knew of her inner conflict and never judged her for it.

We expose ourselves more by hiding in plain sight and Blue captures that poignancy and that need to be concealed until we are ready to make ourselves known to the rest of the world; to create homes out of people we feel such a kinship for even with the dangerous risk of co-dependence and a refusal to grow up and learn.

Kirishima wants to be understood and accepted and Endo provides that easily because of her giving, sweet-tempered nature, but she's also closed off when it came to private matters, most especially about her ex-boyfriend who impregnated her.

When I read and finished Blue within two hours last week, I sat down in front of my laptop and began typing the first part of this review then I put it off for a couple of days.

Blue (Manga) - MangaDex

The same thing goes for shoujo ai. In that way, Blue is not a crowd pleaser which is the enchantment of it. Its ambiguity and lack of a complete resolution at the last chapter may prove disappointing to most readers.

What I like about Nananan's writing in exploring such a delicate story and the portrayal of these characters are the ambiguous moments.

She was self-aware about it which in turn made her guilty enough to attempt having casual sex with a boy from another school.

From the looks of the reviews of her works, her shoujo ai seemed well-written so I was interested and after finishingI wasn't disappointed. I think it stems from the fact that I have been in relationships with women, both romantic and sexual.

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To Kirishima, losing her virginity was also a way to feel intrinsically closer to Endo. For Kirishima, it's not easy to love someone whom she feels society will reject her for, most likely starting with her family and friends.

I'm also not easily offended. For Endo, it's all to easy to allow people in her life to expect things from her, and blame only herself when she feels she has failed to meet them all.

Blue has a leisurely pace as writer Nananan unfolds this aching story about the consequences and unknowable truths about young love, regardless if it's queer and probably more so that it's queer at the same time. Kayako Kirishima is inexplicably drawn to the confident and outgoing Masako Endo and this magnetic attraction is borne out of romantic interest as well.

Her insights regarding these two girls are so honest in a very searing, unforgettable way that often it's not something one can enjoy for casual reading.

But as for the nature of their relationship in a romantic context, it's not something absolute. Kirishima wants Endo and punishes herself for wanting someone of her own sex while Endo is more or less heterosexual but allows a more than platonic closeness with Kirishima because she doesn't have the strength or foresight to break the other girl's heart.

It's not like that. And maybe Kirishima was just looking for a true friend as oppose to a lover as she undergoes the painful transition of coming out of the closet.

For the longest time, I've identified as a lesbian but my sexual preference for partners is not something I consider as a social or political statement. It made me nostalgic. It makes us feel connected. Suddenly, I didn't feel so alone anymore about my own inadequate expression of feelings from long ago with a girl I should have been better friends with especially when I knew deep in my soul that I used to be in love with her, and perhaps for the wrong reasons all this time.

And I liked it a lot. In the back of my mind, I was thinking about Kirishima and Endo, and all the emotions they never got to properly say and those that never really needed words to begin with.

I wanted to give this an 8 out of 10 rating but settled for a 7, objectively speaking.

Blue - Nananan Kiriko

That is why I avoided reading yuri for some time because I feel that it provides either a somewhat idealized or false concept and depiction of lesbian relationships. Maybe they really were in love or maybe they weren't. It made me hurt. I'm going to read more of Kiriko Nananan's works after this one.

Blue is riveting this way. I found at least ten or so, and the first one I chose is a Kiriko Nananan piece. Every time I read yaoi, I already have a good amount of suspension of belief because know I'm only indulging in some fantasy scenario, and some circumstances in yaoi are not necessarily something I would expect in how gay relationships with men really work.

Maybe Endo was flattered and liked Kirishima enough and was afraid that rejecting her advances would cause her to abandon her. I just came back from a reunion with high school friends last night where the girl I spoke of was also there, and I was able to clear up any lingering misunderstandings between us from years ago.

This friendship is at times natural and at times uneasy, punctuated by unspoken words and meaningful gestures. It's also such a slow burn of a narrative where character interactions are limited and often open to interpretation.

We know she's heterosexual because she was devastatingly in love with a man who only wounded her in a way she was almost unable to recover, but she may be bisexual too because she didn't mind being affectionate with Kirishima and passionately kissing her.